You, and the World

Ahh so long then, since I last picked up the metaphorical pen and paper. I’ve finally lost me five-o-clock shadow and it feels great to be back.

Growth is a simple, yet big word. There is much meaning within. It is so often seen, so often felt. It often comes in expected ways, and sometimes unexpectedly as well. At times it comes in the most subtle sense- a realisation on hindsight. Growth is but a nuanced dialect that we all have an inkling of. Whether or not we are able to master and comprehend it- well, that is owed to understanding the meaning within the bounds. Meaning we know not of, meaning we seek to find.

Fear & Uncertainty

The scariest thing for an athlete is the next race. The scariest thing for a scientist is the failure of a year-long experiment. A three-month solo trip for the introvert? Blasphemy! And yet, these are all steps towards our true North. Growth is often brought up in tandem with fear and uncertainty. Talk about the growth mindset- Be open-minded, Connect and Grow with people, Get comfortable with ambiguity. Easier said than done. Trust me.

‘Growth Mindset’- to a twelve-year-old, these are two Brobdingnagian words. I sought to adopt this mindset from a tender age. I thrive on challenges. In fact, I don’t see challenges, I see opportunities. To me, failures are not roadblocks to success but rather stepping stones to build on. You change the way you think, you change the way you learn. Once you change the way you learn, oh boy, you will enter a flow state. In the famous words of Bruce Lee- you will ‘Be Like Water’. Be formless, empty your mind- do not let yourself be trapped by any certain mindset.

“Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless, like water.” — Bruce Lee

Life gets pretty interesting upon reflection. A couple of days ago I was on a morning hike with a mate. As we traversed the forest we came across this undulating road- a road where we couldn’t see beyond the bend. A thought, like a wild horse dashed across me mind and I asked her: “Isn’t life fun? I love these roads where you can’t see beyond- the uncertainty excites me.” I am going to sidetrack a little but hold on to that thought. In a conversation with another mate, we were once again chatting about uncertainty, albeit in a more earthly context. Therein lies a fascinating juxtaposition. I mentioned that I dislike taking walks late at night because I did not fancy having to watch my six every ten seconds. I do not enjoy having to worry about people or beings that may unexpectedly appear and cause a sudden myocardial infarction. In this sense, I intensely dislike uncertainty.

Physical Growth

Growth is exponential. This is something I always lay upon me mates. There is much truth in it. I am not one to blow me own trumpet, but I value transparency in me writings- and so now I will fill you in on my fitness journey. I apologise for technical terms beforehand. November ’21- Grandma got me a gym rack. March ’22- I started my gym account on Instagram. It has been quite the journey since.

Just a year ago, I was bicep curling 14kg weights. Today, I do 24kg weights for reps. A year ago I could do 6 pull-ups, today my PB is 16 (working towards that big 2). A year ago, I was working towards benching 60kg. Today, I warm up with 60kg. At 16 my shirt size was an M, today I’m filling up my XL tee…And I kid you not when I say my scrub size is an XXXL. I’ve a batchmate who took an XXXXXL though, there are levels to this game. When you have too many Xs…

Point being, Growth is beautiful, especially measured growth. This physical growth measurable, the satisfaction immeasurable. The gym has slowly become my safe space, and tons of growth has taken place inside- not just physically but also mentally and emotionally.

“Focus on thyself and everything else will fall into place.” — Zacc Chen

Mental Growth

Mental fortitude. Yet again, gargantuan words. Mental growth is about the big picture. It’s about following through. It’s about sheer willpower and brute mental strength.

You don’t go through a year in Medical school without growing mentally. The late night adventures into the world of histology on Anki, the elaborate discussions shared regarding human physiology, the painstaking job of identifying body parts in anatomy hall every Tuesday. There is so much knowledge to acquire, so many lessons to learn. Our first Professionals was the toughest season of my life thus far and I stand by that. Through it all, I remind myself of how blessed I am to be undertaking this course, and this reassures me. It plays a big part in granting me the affirmation that perhaps, all these hardships are worth it. That this mental fortitude we gain now, will play an essential role in the future as clinicians, policy makers, public health leaders.

In another conversation with my aforementioned mate, she recounted some experiences of personal growth and a mantra she lived by:

“I refuse to be ordinary.”

Sheepishly she asked me, “Does this sound very entitled?” Nein I said. She really spoke to me. It is easy to walk down a beaten path, less so to take the road less travelled. It is one thing to say, and another to do. Don’t be a complainer, be a doer. Don’t stay a dream chaser, be a dream getter. The greater the difficulty, the greater the growth. If anything, do it for yourself. Should you wish to accomplish something great, don’t be afraid to fail in all uncovered nakedness thereon.

One day, we will dine and wine at that restaurant off the beaten path.

Emotional Growth

Love — I myself am unaware of my propensity to love, and to be loved.

I’ve grown immensely emotionally this year. Experiences aplenty, ordeals heaps. These days, smooth sails are few and far between. Yet, when you lose something, you gain another- there is never time wasted. There is comfort in knowing that while people come and go, the true ones stay. Cherish the fond memories, but shoulders back and chin up, always. Luke Cage once put it succinctly as ever,

“Forward Always. Always Forward.” — Luke Cage

Growing emotionally requires fostering a deep connection, and harnessing the beauty of self-expression. We all share this drive to connect, to veer away from loneliness, isolation. We don’t scribble it on our foreheads, but oftentimes we all have this innate drive to take communion. Lest we forget, however, before we, there is you. Take a deep dive into yourself. I’d go as far as to say — open your eyes to your own soul. What do you see? How do you feel? Do you understand what you’re feeling right now?

Communicate your inner turmoil. Convey your deepest darkest thoughts. Not to me, not to your partner, not to your mother. To yourself. There is sense in connecting with oneself, to be attentive and attuned to what is happening inside you, to truly know who you are.

Align with your true self, and it will externalise. Mind, body, and soul all in tandem with one another. Manifestation.

Once you form this connection with thyself, you will see life, and the world in a different light. A refreshing flavour will be added, a new texture uncovered.

Tomorrow is a brand new day that hasn’t been touched. Be a lover of life.

The Sun always has ways to reach us. Alexa, play Happiest Year by Jaymes Young.

Alexander SR Pang