The fruit of life
Life is filled with uncertainty — an almost inexorable march of daily life. The world of late has been floundering about an array of crises. We’re going through major shifts in political and social landscapes, a global pandemic, and significant changes in our day-to-day living. For many us, this is a time of unprecedented struggle and turbulence. While we choose not to acknowledge it, uncertainty is a natural and inescapable aspect of life. Very few things in our lives are totally certain — only change is constant. We have jurisdiction over many things, but we simply can’t control everything that happens to us.
We are all creatures of habit. Of course, it’s only normal for us to visit a restaurant we know has food we enjoy, to attend a party filled with people we know, or to take on a project that we have an abundance of knowledge in. This sense of familiarity brings us comfort. When things go smoothly and as planned, we feel like we’re in cruise control. When we get thrown a curveball however, we all get perturbed and fearful. People vary in their ability to tolerate and handle uncertainty — some can withstand a lot of uncertainty in their lives, while others cannot stand even an ounce of it. While many things may remain beyond our control, our mindset is the key to overcoming difficult circumstances and confidently taking on the unknown.
This masterpiece by Maroney was born out of growing amorous feelings alongside uncertainty and whether they were reciprocated. In that sense, very apt for this piece.
Uncertainty as an allergy
The intolerance of uncertainty is akin to having an allergy. Say you have a pollen allergy, you will get hay fever or allergic rhinitis and suffer from runny nose, itchy eyes, congestion, sneezing and sinus pressure when exposed to even a touch of pollen. Similarly, when people who are intolerant to uncertainty are exposed to even the tiniest bits of uncertainty, they exhibit strong reactions — worry, avoidance, or simply trying their utmost best to eliminate any of such uncertainties.
Chronic worrying does not give you more control over ungovernable events.
It just fleeces you of enjoyment in the present, sucks the pap out of you, and keeps you up through the night. This eventually leads to tiring behaviours, often causing unnecessary disquiet and stress.
What are some behaviours that exhibit one’s intolerance of uncertainty?
- Seeking excessive reassurance from others — Constantly consulting family and friends on their opinions on a decision you have to make or searching up online information endlessly.
- Repeatedly double checking things — Re-reading email drafts a dozen times to ensure they are perfect for example.
- Refusing to delegate tasks to others — Not allowing anyone at work or home do certain jobs because you’re afraid they will not follow your instructions to the T.
- Procrastinating and avoiding — If you don’t engage in that activity or with that stranger, or simply defer tasks given to you, then uncertainty can be avoided.
These may all seem to be prosaic day-to-day concerns, but they’re really behaviours that are wearisome and draining. Being certain about everything takes the fun out of life — the spectacular adventures that let your feet wander, your eyes marvel and your soul ignite.
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.
Constant need for Security
We are shrouded in uncertainty, never more so than in this day and age. Be it the unpredictability in our relationships, health, finances, job security — all of which are exacerbated by the ongoing pandemic. Naturally as humans, we crave security. Feelings of fear and uncertainty leave us feeling helpless, distressed and anxious, while a sense of control over our lives offers us safety and assurance. Be that as it may, this intolerance to uncertainty is emotionally draining and traps you in a vicious cycle of perpetual ‘what-ifs’ and thoughts of the worst case scenarios that tomorrow may bring.
Our tolerance levels for uncertainty differ greatly. Some people enjoy taking risks and living life unpredictably, while others can’t see much joy in the randomness of life. Are you engulfed by uncertainty and anxiety? If you are, don’t worry, you’re not alone — most of us are in the same boat. It’s of paramount importance that you realise no matter how helpless or demoralised you feel, there are steps you can take to tackle such uncontrollable circumstances, take the edge off your disconcertment, and venture into uncharted territories.
Putting your head above the parapet
Open yourself up to risk. ‘Graded exposure’ is a psychological treatment that was developed to help people confront their fears. It is used to overcome phobias, panic disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder etc. The exposure to the feared objects, activities or situations in a safe environment helps reduce fear and decrease avoidance. This can be applied to our intolerance to uncertainty. Moderate introduction of elements of uncertainty into your daily life can help you live a more carefree life. We should let loose towards uncertainty and invite it into our lives as a form of mitigating strategy to create a semblance of certainty.
Start with the act of acceptance.
You can’t control the irrational behaviour of the economy, the rapid pace of social change, or the spread of a virus. We’ve to accept that the art of life lies in the constant readjustment to our surroundings. This then allows us to devote energy to exercise control over other more tangible things.
- Heed your own advice — Listen to your own voice, it should resonate louder than anybody else’s.
- Avoid harping on things you cannot control — Get out of the habit of chewing the cud over negative events or spilt milk. While it’s good to always hope for the best and prepare for the worst, take it easy at times.
- Seek support from those whom you trust — It’s never a good idea to isolate yourself and bottle up your emotions when you’re stressed and distraught. Reach out to family and friends, don’t be shy. Social support is so important.
- Establish a routine — Structure your days, weeks and months comfortably. This can be anything from planning your meals to instilling a regular workout regime.
- Focus on things within your control — Whatever your fears or personal circumstances, instead of worrying about the uncontrollable, try to regroup and refocus your mind on taking action over the aspects that are within your control. This way, you’ll switch from ineffective worrying and ruminating into active problem-solving.
- Engage in self-care — Be sure to eat well, exercise and get enough sleep. Don’t ever let stress take a toll on your health. Yoga, meditation and pilates are great ways to seek comfort when going through rough patches and taxing times.
- Faith —For the religious Man, faith serves as the cornerstone when dealing with uncertainty. Focusing on your spiritual well-being means recognising the sovereignty of the higher authority. This then allows the faithful to rest in that assurance and live confidently through faith.
Uncertainty revolves around our worries for what the future holds for us, and the anticipation of events that may unfold. When not embraced, uncertainty can be a drug that paralyses us, inhibiting us from taking action to tackle a problem. We have to recognise that we’re not all fortune-tellers and cannot predict what might happen. By connecting fully with the present moment, can we then break up any negative assumptions and thoughts about the future that fog up our minds.
Let uncertainty express itself as the fruit of life, the unexpected twists and turns that lend meaning to the zest and gaiety of an inexhaustible joie de vivre. Carpe diem, was it?
Alexander SR Pang
ALEXANDER SR PANG 